


Heartfelt

by nocureforcrazy



Category: Castle
Genre: a very much needed heart to heart, because it's long overdue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2495219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocureforcrazy/pseuds/nocureforcrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Thank you, Kate,” Alexis said, slowly sitting up and turning around on the couch to face the detective. “For everything.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartfelt

Castle was out filming a commercial promoting _Raging Heat_ and Martha had no doubt gone with him. Kate had been asked to go but she had easily declined – wanting to stay in. It would probably take a while and she just wasn’t in a mood to deal with the cameraman and all the people who were bound to be there.

Instead, she was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, enjoying the free moments she had. After the past few months, she was glad to finally have time to relax. It was a Saturday and she had requested the day off to do just that because she knew she was in need of it.  

Just a day to unwind after everything she’s been through.

She definitely deserved it.

Honestly, they all deserved a day to themselves.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs pulled her from her thoughts, alerting her to the fact that Alexis must have just woken up. Kate glanced over her shoulder as the red headed descended the stairs, still in a sleep daze.

She was still dressed in pajamas, her hair tied into a messy bun on top of her head with loose pieces falling into her face. She stifled a yawn and rubbed at her eyes as she slowly crossed the loft.

“You okay?” Kate found herself asking as her eyes followed Alexis’ path. As Alexis got closer, Kate reached over and placed her now empty coffee cup on the table in front of the couch.

Alexis took the seat on the couch next to Kate. “As much as I wish it would, hallway scooter rides don’t solve everything.”

Kate thought for a moment, wanting to choose her words carefully – not wanting to push too hard. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alexis slowly nodded. “I think that would help.” She sat back against the couch and tucked her legs underneath her body. 

“Does this have anything to do with Paris?” Kate questioned.

Alexis nodded. “Paris, dad’s disappearance…among other things - I still don’t think I’ve come to terms with everything that’s happened.”

Kate sat in silence, giving Alexis room and time to say everything she needed to say. She wouldn’t push or prod. She knew from experience that that would get anywhere. Besides, she hated when she was pushed to open up and she assumed Alexis was similar in that aspect.

“I still have nightmares sometimes,” Alexis continued. “I know it’s not necessarily the same because I remember what happened and dad doesn’t – it doesn’t really make anything easier.”

“Have you talked to your dad about Paris?” Kate asked when Alexis was quiet for a few moments.

Alexis shook her head. “Not really…He was a little hesitant about me going to Costa Rica but we never actually had a real conversation about it…We haven’t really talked about the past two months either – not really.

“I feel like we should – to deal with all of these pent up feelings and emotions. But I’m not sure how to go about it, so I guess I’ve just been putting it off. Not wanting to deal with it and I think I’ve just made it worse with how much I’ve been dotting on dad.”

A moment of silence filled the room as Alexis took a moment to think.

Kate sat, waiting patience for the girl to continue.

 “Even still, I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and dad won’t be here,” Alexis admitted. “I’ve had nightmares a couple of nights that everyone I care about just disappeared – one by one.”

Kate took Alexis’ hand in her own and gave it a soft, reassuring squeeze. “I’m sorry, Alexis…that I wasn’t around much after your dad disappeared.”

Alexis shrugged. “It’s fine…I mean, you were dealing with your own stuff and were leading dad’s case…Besides, I knew that I had to be here for gram.”

“What about you? You needed someone to be there for you.”

Alexis took a breath. “I’m kind of used to it by now…well, with my mom abandoning me like she did – sure she still comes around sometimes, but it’s not the same. Then dad disappeared and there were a few times when I thought I would never see him again….all those issues I haven’t properly dealt with came up again.”

 “Alexis,” Kate started, placing her arm around the girl’s shoulders.

“Its fine, Kate…really,” Alexis let out a breath and placed her head on Kate’s left shoulder. “I’ve just never told anyone else that and it feels kind of good to finally say it out loud.”

Hearing Alexis admit those feelings to her – to be that open with her was like a stab to the chest. It made Kate feel worse about not being around much during those two months of Castle’s disappearance – for disappearing back into that shell of hers and building her walls up again.

Even more than before, she felt like she should have made more of an effort to be at the loft. Maybe she should have pushed aside all the reasons why she spent as little time in the loft as she could – just to have been there for Alexis when she obviously needed someone.

“I still feel like I should have tried harder to be around then,” Kate told her. “Especially since I was hours away from officially being your stepmom, but instead I inverted back into my old ways - shutting everyone out.”

“I don’t blame you, Kate. Honestly, I don’t,” Alexis reassured her. “I’ve realized that that is just how you deal with things.”

“It’s how the old Kate Beckett dealt with things,” Kate responded. “Before your dad came into my life and weaseled his way in. The only reason why I didn’t fall back into the rabbit hole when I reopened my mom’s case was because of your father.”

Alexis situated herself until she was lying on the couch with her head in Kate’s lap. “You two are good for each other. I mean that – even if I was a bit iffy at first.”

Kate looked down at the girl, already guessing what she meant. The few near death experiences Castle was a part of that Alexis knew about and the others she probably didn’t know about.

“After your shooting, I tried to get dad to stop shadowing you…I told him he had to grow up and stop pretending to be a cop,” Alexis admitted. “I was scared that I would eventually lose him and so I lashed out.”

Kate began running her fingers through the younger girl’s hair, shocked and a bit relieved when Alexis didn’t pull away. “Because of what happened with your mother?”

“Yeah…I realize now that it was probably a bit stupid,” Alexis said.

“No, it wasn’t. You were in your right to be protective over your father – given everything that happened back then,” Kate told her. “In fact, there was a time when I almost tried to get Castle to stop shadowing me for that same reason.”

Alexis started up at her. “Really?”

Kate nodded. “But I realized that with your father, nothing is ever that easy…I am glad he stuck around, especially given everything with my mom’s case. To think, I was so angry with him in the beginning for poking around in my mom’s case after I told him not to.”

“That sounds like dad,” Alexis commented.

“I think it was for the best that I finally came around and let him work on her case with me,” Kate spoke again. “It took fifteen years, but I’ve finally got the closure I’ve wanted since I was nineteen. I never would have found my mother’s killer or Bracken if it wasn’t for your father and I’m so grateful for that.

“A part of me wishes I could have had answers sooner. Or have had _something,_ ” Kate continued, unable to stop the words from tumbling from her mouth. “Maybe the whole thing with my dad could have been prevented.”

Alexis reached out for Kate’s free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Just like the detective did for her earlier.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alexis asked, since Kate was already basically talking about it. “Of course you don’t have to and I would never force you to, but since you were and –“

“Don’t worry, Alexis, its fine,” Kate said, cutting off the rambling girl.

Alexis gave a shy smile as her face turned slightly red.

Kate took a moment before speaking. “My dad took it hard after that. He turned to the bottle for support…he finally got sober. Of course, it was a long process. I transferred from Stanford to NYU to be there for my dad when he needed me. He was the only family I had left that I was really close to and I couldn’t set by and do nothing. Besides, Stanford just wasn’t the same after what happened.”

“That’s why you became a cop,” Alexis said.

Kate nodded. “Going into law enforcement after that just seemed like the logical choice, you know? I wanted to help others find justice that I never got for myself.”

 She wasn’t sure exactly what had prompted her to talk about her mother’s case, but it felt nice to finally have a talk like this with Alexis. If Alexis was willingly to open up to Kate about her issues, she could do the same in return.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of them. The left over tension that may have been present during Castle’s two month presence was no longer prominent and wouldn’t end up bothering them again.

It was nice to clear the air. To feel safe enough to be that open with each other. To not have secrets.

“I’m not sure what I would have done if dad was never found,” Alexis said, pulling Kate from her thoughts.

“I’m glad you didn’t have to find out what it’s like to lose a parent like that. I know you’re mom is barely around –“she trailed off.

“She’s still alive,” Alexis finished.  “Dad’s enough and then there’s you.”

Kate gave her a smile. “I’ll always be here if you need someone to talk to, Alexis. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. Not again.”

“Thank you, Kate,” Alexis said, slowly sitting up and turning around on the couch to face the detective. “For everything.”

“It was only a heart to heart,” Kate tried to protest as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“You care…and not just about dad, but about me too,” Alexis stated. “You felt comfortable enough to share such a dark time of your life with me, you let me vent to you. There’s nothing forcing you to do so…you don’t have to make such an effort with me, but you do. And no other woman in my dad’s life has ever done that.”

“I knew from the beginning that if I ever wanted a relationship with your father, it would include you as well,” Kate said. “You’re his daughter and you relationship with your dad is one of the strongest bonds I’ve ever see. I never wanted you to think I was trying to get in between you and your dad. The two of you are a package deal and I’m perfectly okay with that.”

Alexis reached across the space between them and threw her arms around Kate’s shoulders. Kate responded by pulling Alexis into a tight embrace before releasing her.

“And thank you for coming home,” Alexis added, after she pulled away.

“I’m sorry I was ever gone, even for a while,” Kate said, again.

“I think that all we can do now is just move on and leave everything in the past,” Alexis stated. “It’ll be a tough road but it’ll be best for all of us.”

Kate nodded. “Do you feel better?”

“A little bit, yeah,” Alexis thought for a moment. “I feel like talking about these issues I’ve been trying so hard to repress was good for me.”

“Have you ever thought about talking to someone other than me?” Kate prompted.

“Like a professional?”

“I’m not trying to pressure you or anything,” Kate quickly added. “But it really helped me after my shooting with I was dealing with my PTSD…It could probably help you too; but again, I’m not trying to force you to do something you wouldn’t want to do.”

Alexis shook her head. “No, I get it. It just means you care and it’s not that bad of a suggestion…If it helped you with that, it could definitely help me with these abandonment issues. It’ll be good to finally be able to fully move on.”

“I could give you Dr. Burke’s number if you wanted,” Kate said, beginning to reach for her phone.

Alexis nodded.

Kate reached for the pad of paper and pen that sat on the end table next to the couch. Quickly jotting down Dr. Burke’s number, she pulled the top sheet off and handed it to the redhead.

Alexis smiled as she took it. She stood up from her position on the couch. “Thanks again for everything, Kate.”

“Any time, Alexis,” Kate said, smiling. “Like I said, I’ll always be here if you need me.”

When Alexis reached the steps, she turned around. “Since we got everything out of the way, do you maybe want to get out and do something today?”

“What did you have in mind?”

Alexis shrugged. “A walk in the park, shopping, maybe get some lunch? I’m up for anything – I just feel like a few hours out of the loft may be good for me considering all the time I’ve spent cooped up in here during dad’s disappearance.”

“That’d be nice, Alexis,” Kate said, standing up.

Alexis smiled – a real, genuine smile. One the detective hadn’t seen on the girl’s face in a long time. It was nice to see that she was on the way back to her old self. Of course, it would be a while before any of them were fully themselves again, but they would get there.

That was one thing Kate knew for sure. It would be a battle, a tough road – just like Alexis said but they could do it.

Kate watched as Alexis retreated up the stairs before she backtracked towards her and Castle’s bedroom.

The heart to heart she had with Alexis felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was glad to help and was glad to put any underlying doubts about Alexis’ feelings about her behind her. She was glad to help Alexis and herself in the process.

When she walked back into the living room after getting dressed and grabbing her things, Alexis was waiting for her by the steps. Kate was greeted with a smile, one in which she returned and together, the two of them walked out of the loft.

She was most definitely also looking forward to the impromptu girl’s day. It would be a great thing for the both of them.

 


End file.
